


We Can Steal The Night, We Can Love The Stars

by Pariscores



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: #SaveBenSolo, Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Best friend Rose, But In Space, Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), Dark Side Rey, Deviant Hunter Ben Solo, Dorks, Emotional Manipulation, Empress Rey, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Letters, Multi, One Word Prompts, Rating May Change, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey sucks at cards, Scars, Smuggler Ben Solo, Snoke Being a Dick, detroit: become human au, dorks in denial, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-04-16 02:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 11,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pariscores/pseuds/Pariscores
Summary: Across multiple planets, galaxies, universes, their destinies intertwine.





	1. Villain

**Author's Note:**

> Get ready for 50 short chapters of absolute crap writing revolving around our favorite space dorks.

_ ‘Of course she left,’  _ Ben thinks as he glances around the burnt remains of Snoke’s chambers.  _ ‘Why did I ever think she would stay? That she would choose me?’ _ He straightened his posture and met Hux’s eyes.  _ ‘That she would want me?’ _

“We know where she’s going. Gather our forces and head to the Resistance base. It’s time to finish this.”

_ ‘You want me to be the villain? Now I’m the villain.’ _


	2. Colors

Rey is drawn to the glowing red of his lightsaber. The way it illuminates a room and intimidates anyone around. Many are drowned in fear once the color comes to life, but she is not. She has no reason to be afraid because Rey knows Ben will not hurt her, just as she will not do the same to him. 

So when she sees that same blazing red light crackle and meet the ice blue of her lightsaber, she embraces the purple that surrounds them.

 


	3. Never

“You were asking me to join the First Order!” Rey hissed, hands curling at her sides. “To join the Dark Side!”

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

“What is there to g-”

Ben whipped around to face her, eyes blazing. “I never wanted you to join the Dark Side!” He seethed. “I wanted you to choose me!”

Rey gaped at the man in front of her trying to come up with a response, yet he continued before she could. “It wasn’t about power. It never was,” Ben pressed. “It was about you.” His voice lowered as he met her gaze. “I meant it when I told you it was time to let old things die. That included the First Order,” he took a step forward, “the Resistance.” Another step. “And the battle between the Light and Dark.”

He was in front of her now, Rey could feel the warmth radiating off of him. “I would never have asked you to change who you are,” he whispered. “Because that is the person I fell in love with.”


	4. Choose

She couldn’t choose for him. Couldn’t make his decision or tell him how to live. Maker knows Ben has had enough of that for ten lifetimes. But Rey could help him. Be his guide and let him pave his own way. She just hopes that he will choose the path of Ben Solo and not Kylo Ren.

That he will choose the path that leads to  _ her. _


	5. Galaxy

“I could have shown you the galaxy. Anywhere you wanted to go, I would have done it. I would have given you  _ everything. _ ”

“I don’t want the galaxy, Ben.”

“Then what could I have given you? What would have made you stay?”

“I just wanted- _ want  _ you.”


	6. Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, here's a long(ish) one.

When Ben first arrives at the Resistance base after defecting from the First Order, the hatred that fills the air is plentiful. He truly expected nothing less, considering almost everyone has lost someone they care about to the First Order. It doesn't necessarily help that he was once the Supreme Leader.

By the first month, the boiling hatred had died down a little, but the wary actions and avoidance remain. Ben doesn't mind, because if he has no one else on the base to trust him, he has Rey. And that's enough for him.

Six months pass before things start to change. It started with the short mechanic sitting down at the table he occupied alone during breakfast as Rey had been sent to retrieve intel on the First Order earlier that morning. The small woman, Rose, had been the first to even try to strike up conversation. Ben sat confused as Rose babbled on about a broken x-wing that Poe had brought back, and how it was almost completely unsalvageable. He didn't know how to react and wondered why she was even speaking to him.

He didn't realize he had spoken his thoughts out loud until Rose answered. "You seemed lonely," she shrugged. "I understand you did horrible things, but if Rey trusts you, then so will I." A grin appeared on the woman's face. "Besides, you can't be as bad as people think. I mean, I've seen you around Rey. It's like watching a cheesy romantic story. It's cute." At this, Ben's face flushed and he quickly turned his attention down to his plate, all the while listening to Rose's laughter.


	7. Monster

“You  _ are  _ a monster.”

“Yes I am.”

But he didn’t look like one at the moment. Monsters weren’t vulnerable, didn’t show any weaknesses. Kylo did, though. His eyes bore a silent plea, a sign that was asking for help, to tell him that he was wrong. And Rey felt the words that Kylo longed to hear rise.

Yet the bond shut before she could say another word.


	8. Hope

Rey is well acquainted with hope. It's the only thing that's kept her sane throughout the years on Jakku. The hope that she would find a scrap that would lead to a week's worth of portions. Hope that she would survive another day. Hope that her parents would come _back_ for her.

She doesn't have to worry about that anymore though. There's no more Jakku, no more Unkar Plutt, no more wasted time on family that would never return. The latter was the thing that cut any ties of hope that Rey held.

But if there is one thing Rey clings to with a shred of hope, it is that Ben Solo's conflict will resolve, and he will follow her towards the Light. At the end, it is that hope that keeps her going.


	9. Cards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here, you'll see a wild Ben Solo who is letting his inner Han Solo come forth.

"You're cheating!"

"Or maybe you're just terrible at Sabacc."

Rey huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at the man in front of her. "I am not!" she exclaimed. "You are clearly cheating!"

Ben raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly have I been cheating?"

"...I don't know, you just are!" Her eyes shifted from Ben's face to the cards in his hand. "How else could you have won the last six games!"

Sighing, Ben set his cards down on the table. "You're right Rey. I have been cheating."

"I knew it!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..." And then he smirked, "that I am a natural at this game."

"Ben!"


	10. Laugh

"How in kriff's name are you supposed to open this?" Rey complained as she fiddled with the small box in her hands.

"Did you try using the Force?"

"We can't always rely on the Force, Ben." She huffed. "What does this button do?" When Rey pressed down on it, the lid of the box opened and smacked her nose. "Ow!"

A small laugh left Ben before he could stop it, and the quiet sound made Rey's head snap towards him. "Wow, this is the first time I've heard you laugh." She grinned. "It's a nice sound."


	11. Books

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody say modern day au? No? Oh, okay.

Ben, Rey concludes, is an avid reader. It's not unusual, really, for an author to read so much, but she wasn't prepared for the _sheer_ _amount_ Ben reads. The first time Rey went over to his place, she was surprised. The walls in his apartment were covered by numerous shelves, each filled to the brim with books. The same could be said for every available countertop. Hell, it was like walking into a damn _library_.

But as she starts coming over more and more, Rey finds that she doesn't mind. Because she knows that reading is one of the few things in the world that makes Ben happy. That it's one of the only things that helped him get through another day when he was younger.

So no, Rey doesn't have a problem with the stacks of books surrounding her. Especially when Ben plucks one off of a shelf and sits down on the couch, patting the space beside him. She sits down and nestles into his side as he brings an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

Once they are in a comfortable position, Ben opens the book and starts reading. Halfway through the first chapter he rests his cheek on top of Rey's head, still reading. Rey covers Ben's hand that is still on her waist and sighs.

Yep, she has absolutely no problems at all.


	12. Empress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly recommend the song Empress by Social Repose

"Please"

Rey stares at Ben's outstretched hand, the way it trembles and curls in on itself slightly, as if not sure she will really accept. She can sense his nervousness through the bond, engulfing him and the space around him. Yet she can also feel his determination just as strongly, along with another emotion that she can not place.

" _Please."_

She meets his eyes, and for the briefest moment, Rey sees in him the lost and hurt boy that was once Ben Solo. The child that was never given a chance to prove himself, and she is overcome with emotion. Slowly, Rey reaches forward and she can see his eyes brighten the closer she gets to him.

Finally, her hand meets his and he grasps it tightly, and the small smile that blooms across his features makes her breath catch. Those same eyes shine and look at her as if she is a gift, something that he would fight to keep. And behind it all, that same boy that was lost is coming to the surface, breaking out of the mask that is Kylo Ren.

There is hope for Ben Solo's future, and she will wait for it. Even if it means becoming Empress of the First Order in the meantime.


	13. Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based on the song The Reason by Hoobastank.

"Why are you here, Ben?"

"What, no hello? How are you doing? Are you comfortable?"

"Ben, I'm being serious." Rey's eyes narrowed at the man in front of her. "Why are you here? Why did you let yourself be taken away?"

"You're not going to believe me, so why bother?"

"Ben," Rey sighed, "please just tell me why. For what reason did you surrender?"

"So you really want to know?" At her eager nod, Ben closed his eyes and leaned forward on the small cot he was seated on, hand reaching to grip the cell bars. When he opened them, Ben met her hazel eyes, gaze unwavering. "It was because of you."


	14. Haunted

Weeks after Snoke's death, Kylo is still haunted by him. He comes at night, the whisperings that he had grown used to as a child never ceasing. He longs for it to end, to finally be free, and he tells himself repeatedly that he was foolish. Foolish to have given up _everything_ he had worked for just to save some girl that rejected him at the end. A girl that doesn't _want_ him.

And yet Kylo can't help the slight feeling of contempt, as if some part of him believes he did the right thing. That Snoke deserved to die by the hands of the very monster he created, and that Rey was someone who was worth saving.

So for now, he'll ignore the quiet murmurs that call him _weak_ and _useless,_ and tell him that he will never amount to anything. He'll ignore them, no matter how much each word tears at his chest, no matter how much they hurt, and push forward.

Because despite how real it seems, Snoke is dead, cut down by Kylo's own doing, and his hauntings mean nothing. And that one part of him screams that Rey has not met the same fate as Snoke, and that has to mean something even if he will not admit it.


	15. Hair

Rey loves to play with Ben's hair. It was just so _soft,_ and he allows her to do what she wants with it when they were alone in their shared quarters. It was quiet moments like these that Rey cherishes the most.

So, as she finishes the final touches on the braid she had twisted his dark curls into, Rey hums with satisfaction. It was the little things that mattered.


	16. Movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More modern day au alert

Ben hates movies. They offer no _real_ entertainment, and the plots are always too predictable. At least, they are in his eyes especially when it comes to those dreaded horror movies. Now _those_ are the worst what with their cheap jumpscares and poor acting. Not to mention every character is a damn _moron._ Seriously, why run and hide upstairs when the front door is _right there!_ People can't actually be that stupid, right?

… Right?

Sighing, Ben sits down on the worn brown couch and settles himself in as he waits for Rey to pop a movie into the dvd player. He glances at the small coffee table which is now housing numerous snacks ranging from popcorn to random gummy candies to fresh strawberries. She doesn't expect them to really finish all of that, does she? Probably.

"And we're ready!" Rey exclaimed as she jumps up from the crouched position in front of the player. Grabbing the remote, she bounded towards the couch and promptly plopped down on his lap. Ben grunted from the sudden weight and moved his arms to steady the brunette before she fell off.

"A little warning next time would be great," he muttered while shifting slightly to get them both in a comfortable position.

Rey reached out to grab the bowl of popcorn off the table. "Where would the fun in that be?" He could feel her grin as she buried her face into his neck.

He snorted and rolled his eyes, but a smile pulled at his lips nonetheless. "Nowhere I guess." Taking a few pieces of popcorn, Ben asked, "what movie did you decide on anyway?" He shoved the kernels into his mouth and chewed slowly.

"Some movie that Finn recommended. He dropped it off earlier today." She tossed more popcorn into her mouth. "I think it has something to do with ghosts? He said that it was about a family that moves into a house and it turns out to be possessed." Rey shrugged. "It sounded more interesting when he explained it, trust me."

Of course, his luck would be against him on this one. "Ah."

Rey laid her head on his chest. "Yeah, I know you don't care much for movies, especially scary ones... but I'm glad you're here." Her hand reached out and grabbed his, squeezing slightly. "I don't know, I kind of have a feeling you might like this one."

Ben's stomach fluttered and he pressed his lips to the top of her head. He took the remote from her and pressed play. "Hmm, I'm sure I will." And he damn better, he told himself. He better enjoy it for her.


	17. Trust

"I have a plan! Do you trust me?"

"No!"

"Well, you're going to have to!" Ben turned around and faced the cliff they were driven to. "Now jump!" And he rushed forward before leaping off the edge.

"Ben!" Rey could hear the footsteps getting closer, and with no other choice, she had to trust Ben or risk being captured. "You better have some sort of plan that does not include dying!" Taking a deep breath, Rey ran and jumped.

This is it. This is officially how she's going to die. By blindly following the damn idiot that got her in this predicament in the first place. Rey swore she was going to bring both of them back to life and kill him.

Suddenly, something grabbed onto her wrist and she was no longer falling. Rey slowly opened her eyes and glanced up, only to be met by Ben's grinning face.

"I told you I had a plan," he said as he pulled her up to stand on the small ledge. Behind him was a cave, and she knew that it lead to a way out. "You've got to trust me more often."


	18. Smuggler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have a Ben Solo doesn't turn to the Dark Side AU. Or Smuggler Ben Solo. I hate this chapter.

"Ben Solo, it's so nice of you to join us today."

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to drop by and see how you were doing," Ben bit out. "Although, I'm sure this visit would be much more pleasant if I weren't tied down."

Rey smirked and paced around him. "But if I didn't restrain you, you would just escape." Her eyes narrowed. "After all, you've done it before."

"Well _sweetheart_ , you'd think that after three times, you'd learn that I'm quite hard to keep in one place."

The smirk on Rey's face disappeared, and she crouched in front of Ben. "I am quite tired of your useless chatter." Her head cocked to the side. "You know I can take whatever I want." She trailed her hand along his cheek. "Even from the most stubborn."

Ben met her eyes. "I'd love to see you try, princess."

Rey ripped her hand away from his face and stood, glaring at the man in front of her. "You are _nothing,"_ she spit out. "The Force is strong in you." She curled her hands into fists. "You would have been so powerful, a true warrior. Yet you chose to follow the path of that _scoundrel_ you call a father." Rey leaned forward. "I know for a fact that Snoke was there with you as a child." She saw Ben tense, and she felt contempt. "Maybe he still is. The Supreme Leader offered you so much, but you refused. Why is that?"

"I didn't want power," Ben said through gritted teeth. "Becoming a Jedi or Sith meant nothing to me."

"You're a disgrace." She straightened her posture. "Truly pathetic." Rey lifted her arm. "I know you've seen the map to Skywalker. And you'll give it to me."

Ben tugged at his restraints. "Are you so sure about that?" He could feel the slight pressure in his mind, and he tried pushing against it.

"I'm certain," she calmly replied. "Oh, would you look at that. It seems our little smuggler is afraid... Afraid that he'll turn to the Dark Side and become exactly like Darth Vader." Ben stiffened at the name, and Rey felt a small smile tug at her lips.

Yet her satisfaction was short lived as she felt Ben push back against her until he was in her mind. "And you. You're afraid that you'll be alone," Ben panted. "That you'll be thrown away like garbage once Snoke has no use of you anymore."

Rey pulled back gasping. She couldn't breathe, she had to get out. Quickly turning around, Rey made her way to the exit.

"You can still do the right thing." She paused at the door. "I feel the conflict in you."

"You know nothing," she replied as she walked out the room, shutting the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate it, yet I'm not done with this au.


	19. Alone

"You told me I wasn't alone."

"You aren't."

Ben tilted his head down and whispered, "then why do I feel like I am?"

"Ben," Rey started, "you aren't alone. It doesn't matter where I am or how far away. I'll be there for you." She reached out and took his hand in hers, resting them on her lap. "I need you to believe that."

"I'm not sure I can."

"Yes you can. You just won't let yourself." She squeezed his hand. "I know it's hard, but I need you to know that you will never be alone again. Please tell me you know." Ben was quiet for a moment, refusing to look at her.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, Ben sighed and met her gaze. "I know."


	20. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorites, mainly because I don't think the writing is complete crap.

Rey loves Ben's scars. The way they paint his skin provide stories, and she loves to hear every one of them. Every account of narrow escapes from death, or just silly mistakes when training. Even the ones that he doesn't share the background for she believes to be beautiful. They are beautiful because even though he doesn't tell her, Rey knows they are from the childhood he tried to destroy yet failed to do so.

And when she wakes to the sound of Ben's whimpers and choked sobs from beside her, Rey rolls over and faces his trembling form. She caresses the scar on his face, _the one she put there,_ and watches Ben's eyes flutter from beneath his closed lids. A sigh escapes him and he slowly relaxes, drifting back to a peaceful slumber.

She knows the emotional scars left behind by Snoke will never fade away as will his physical ones. They are just as much a part of Ben as the Force that thrives within him, and she is fine with that.

Because no matter how many scars he has, no matter what form they take, Rey knows that she will love him all the same.


	21. Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of chapter 6, Friend.

"Ben, will you at least _try_ and talk to them?" Rey groaned, eyes narrowing slightly. "Really, it's not going to kill you."

"Rey, I don't see why I have to!"

"You need people you can to talk with!" Ben opened his mouth, ready to object but Rey cut him off. "You need _friends,_ Ben."

"I have made friends!" Ben yelled.

"Rose and I don't count!" she stressed. "You need _male_ friends, and that's why I want you to talk to Finn and Poe."

Ben crossed his arms and glared at her. "You're being unreasonable."

"I'm being - _Ben._ If anyone is being unreasonable, it's you! I don't understand what you're so afraid of!"

She watched his jaw clench. "What happens if they still hate me?" he said through gritted teeth. "If they want nothing to do with me?" Ben sighs and takes a step forward. "They know firsthand who I was. Everything I've done, people I've _hurt_ , Rey. What happens if they decide that I'm still dangerous and make you choose between them and me?" He reached out and clasped her hand in his. "I don't want you to have to make that decision, because I know how much they mean to you."

Rey was stunned at Ben's admission, but the last part made her eyebrows furrow. "Is that what you're afraid of? That I'll choose them over you?"

Ben stayed quiet for a moment, eyes choosing to look at the ground beside them. When he spoke, it came out in a hushed tone. "They were there for you since the beginning. They never tried to hurt you or the people you care about. I have."

"Ben," she said softly. "Ben, look at me." When he refused to, Rey squeezed his hand. "Look at me, please."

Ben reluctantly trailed his gaze up until it met Rey's and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Ben, you have to believe me when I say that I won't leave you. Ever. If they make me choose between them or you, I'll choose you. But if they are really my friends, then they will not make me pick sides. Do you understand?"

Slowly, Ben nodded. "Okay. I'll… try."

Rey smiled. "That's all I ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My emo space child is making friends, how nice.


	22. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, these were all supposed to have been like, 100 words or less, but no. I have zero self-control. So here's 350 words. 

When Rey wakes up, she notices that the space beside her is empty. The sheets are still rumpled and slightly warm, but Ben is gone. She's not worried though, as it isn't unusual for him to not be in bed.

She sits up and stretches her arms above her head before leaning against the headboard. A yawn escapes her as her arms lower back down to rest in her lap. The silence in the room is enjoyable, and if Rey tries hard enough, she can faintly hear the sound of baby porgs chirping. She could hear the shuffling of people making their way down the hallway, chattering with one another.

A small cough brings her out of her musings, and she turns her head towards source. Ben is standing with his arms crossed, leaning against their bedroom doorway. "Glad to see you're up," he says, his voice deep and soothing.

"Mhmm," Rey mumbles as she swings her legs over the side of the bed, leaving them to dangle over the edge. She raises her arms up, motioning for him to come towards her.

Ben chuckles as he pushes himself off the frame and strides over to her. He sits down beside her, and Rey immediately scoots as close to him as she can and leans into him. His arm wraps around her shoulders and he rests his cheek atop her head.

Rey sighs and tilts her head up, kissing his jaw softly. "How did you sleep last night?" she whispers.

"Better than normal, actually. I got a decent amount of rest, I think. Maybe four or five hours?"

"That's good."

And it was. She knew that Ben struggled when it came to sleeping, and he was never able to doze off for more than an hour, if he was lucky enough to sleep at all. Something always kept him up, whether it be nightmares or his own thoughts, and it seemed like nothing could help him. So the fact that he got more than an hour, let alone five, was a huge improvement.

Ben was getting better.

"That's really good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you were expecting angst when you read the word. So was I.


	23. Barista

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know I had to include a coffee shop au. Get ready for Barista Ben.

Rey has _never_ been more thankful to anyone than she is to Finn at this moment. He had told her that Resistance Coffee hired a new barista who was, and she quotes, "an absolute hunk." And her friend wasn't wrong in the slightest.

The man behind the counter was _massive,_ with over six feet of height and broad shoulders and chest. His dark hair curled slightly past his chin reaching his shoulders. And his _eyes._ A dark brown that shifted to an amber when exposed to the light. His gaze could stare straight into her _soul,_ and she'd _let it._

When it was her turn in line and his deep voice asked for her order, Rey put on her best flirty attitude. Yet, much to her disappointment, her actions seemed to go unacknowledged as he filled out her order and went straight to work. Huffing, Rey stepped aside to wait for her drink but she kept an eye on the barista.

"Medium cinnamon latte!"

Rey blinked and went to pick up her drink. She muttered a small 'thank you' and stalked out of the shop.

Where did she go wrong? Maybe she was too straight forward? Was he not interested? Is he gay? That would be a shame. She sighed and took a sip of her latte, taking the time to cherish the flavor. Hell, even if the barista wasn't interested, she was definitely going back for the coffee.

She lifted the cup away from her and glanced at the bright orange logo printed on the side. It was then that she noticed the writing on the cup and her eyes widened. There, scrawled in black sharpie, was a phone number and name. ' _Call me - Ben.'_

The shit-eating grin stayed on her face all day.


	24. Everything

"I need to talk to you."

Rey pauses, glaring at the wall in front of her. "I wouldn't know what about," she says calmly, glancing over her shoulder. "You made yourself clear."

"I have? Then perhaps you did not fully comprehend what it was that I meant."

"It doesn't matter anymore, does it _Kylo_?" Rey bites out his name as if it were the most hurtful insult she could think of. "I mean _nothing._ " She rubs his own mistakes back into his face, the words ' _he deserves it,'_ running through her mind.

Without waiting for a response Rey walks out the room, yet Ben has no intention of ending the conversation there.

"I just want to speak to you! And you know you can't walk away from the bond like that, so will you just stop and listen?"

Rey opts to do neither, continuing to stomp down the empty halls of the Resistance's new base. Of course, he still follows after her, taking long strides until he passes her and stops right in front of her.

"Rey…"

"What do you want, Kylo? What is it that you want from me?"

"I just want you to listen to me," Ben pleads. "We're not done with each other yet."

"Done? Of course we are done! You tried to kill me! I think that makes us very much done, don't you?"

"I did not try to kill you!"

"Right, you just _conveniently_ chased after me with your lightsaber ignited on Starkiller base. You just _accidentally_ ordered your fighters to shoot the Falcon down with me on it," Rey replied, her voice filled with sarcasm.

"I didn't know you were on that ship in the first place! Hux told me you left in one of Snoke's escape pods! Rey-"

"You told me I was _nothing,"_ she cried out. "Do you have _any_ justification for that?"

"I didn't mean it like that! You are far from nothing, Rey! What I meant was that no matter what anyone says, you are so much more than nothing. Especially to me. Don't you understand that? You are someone to me!" Ben all but screams it, and the silence that follows it tense.

"You have such a way with words," Rey mutters.

"I admit, I could have said it much better. I just…"

Rey looks up at him. "What do I mean? Ben, what do I mean? I need to know."

"I… Why does it matter anymore?

Rey shakes her head and takes a step toward him. "I am asking you for the last time. _What do I mean, Ben?"_

"What you mean? To me?"

She does not bother to answer, only schools her face into a guarded expression that she desperately uses to hide her hopes and fears.

Ben looks her squarely in the eye and answers with only a single word.

"Everything."


	25. Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay, we're halfway done. This is a continuation of chapter 13, Reason.

"You're lying."

Ben leaned back onto his cot and crossed his arms over his chest. "What did I say?" he scoffed. "I knew you wouldn't believe me."

"I'm going to ask _one last time_ , Ben." Rey glared at him. "Why are you here. Tell me the truth."

"I just did." He smirked at her, and Rey's chest ached at the lopsided grin that resembled his father's so much.

"Ben, I'm serious."

"And you think I'm not?" Ben questioned as he pushed himself up to his feet. Even caged behind bars, stripped away from the Force and dressed down into simple white robes, Ben still manages to keep his intimidating stature. "Then please. Enlighten me with all the reasons why you believe me to be lying to you, _Rey_." The way he whispers her name sends shivers down her spine.

Rey doesn't answer, and that's all he needs. "You can't, can you?" He takes a step forward. "Nothing your little band of murderers, traitors, and thieves say can truly make you believe that I am here for any other reason." He pauses, eyes roaming over her. "You can't even believe yourself." Ben's gaze meets hers, unwavering. "Why is that?"

She swallows thickly and clenches her hands into fists. "I don't know."

"You're lying," he murmurs, "and you know it. Now it's your turn to tell me why."

"...You know why."

That damn smirk was back. "I do."


	26. Save

"You're wasting your time."

"I don't think I am." Rey's heart was beating frantically. "I know what I saw. Ben Solo-"

"Is dead!" Kylo snapped through gritted teeth. "Ben Solo is gone, and it's time for you to accept that."

Rey stepped closer to him. "I would if it were true." Her eyes locked onto his, and the anger building up behind them was enough to make anyone cower away. She wouldn't though, because she is not afraid of him. She is only determined. "There is hope for Ben Solo, and I won't ever stop trying to reach for him."

"So that's really it?" Kylo scoffed. "You won't let go because you think you can save someone who died a long time ago?" He was still glaring at her as he growled, " _pathetic_."

"Maybe it is," Rey replied, standing right in front of him. "But I don't care. Because I believe in Ben Solo." She felt the slight tugging through the bond that let her know that her time was almost up. Her gaze softened, and she reached up to lightly caress his face in her hand. "I believe in you," she whispered before the bond snapped shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #SaveBenSolo


	27. Dispute

"What are they fighting about now?" Finn asked half-heartedly, gesturing towards Ben and Rey who were bickering. Again.

Poe shrugged. "Force knows what. They've been at it for a while now." He glanced over his shoulder, stealing a quick glance at the two. "Long enough for it to possibly be a new record."

"Right," Finn said, clapping a hand on Poe's back.

Rose, on Poe's other side, nodded, a grin plastered on her face. Out of the three, she had been the first to offer friendship to Ben, mainly because she knew he needed it. He needed stability, and she thought a friend that would be there for him was a perfect option.

"You're wrong!" Rey shouted from behind them. "And the sooner you realize that, the better off we'll all be!"

And though Ben seemed to be happier than when he first arrived, that didn't mean that Rose had not sometimes regretted her decision.

Ben smirked at Rey. " _I'm_ the one that's wrong? I think it's more along the lines of me underestimating your mental capacity. If you can't even-"

"Why you arrogant-"

"-It's not arrogance if I'm only stating fact-"

"- _Nerfherder!_ " Rey's jaw clenched "I know I'm right!"

"In your dreams, Sweetheart," he sneered, causing Rey to roll her eyes.

"Hey," Finn called out, "do any of you guys want something to drink?"

"Water will be fine," Rey said, smiling.

Ben only grunted.

Her head whipped back towards him. "Do you always have to be so rude?"

Ben's eyes narrowed. "As if you don't give me any reason to be."

"Right, I forgot. Everything I do is just a means to torture you."

Before Ben could answer, Rose giggled. "Man, with the amount of fighting you two do, it's almost of if you guys are dating."

"What?" Rey glanced towards Ben who stared back at her. They had never even considered that before. Ben's expression suddenly changed into something more thoughtful, seeming to consider what Rose had said. Poe and Finn just gaped at them, eyes shifting back and forth between the three. "Well, I've never really thought about it before," Rey said, slowly turning to address Ben. "But we argue. All the time."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "I'm willing to consider it foreplay."

Rey grinned at him.

Rose just smiled at the two, while Poe and Finn shared horrified expressions.


	28. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a really long one. Well, really long compared to other chapters. This is sort of a companion to Chapter 15, Haunted. So here, have some Kylo Angst™. This is most likely going to be the only update today.

He couldn't sleep.

The room was too hot, and Kylo could feel moisture build up on every spot that his shirt touched. He raised a hand to the neckline and tugged on it slightly, the fabric sticking to his damp skin, trying to cool down. But it still didn't help.

Kylo sighed, slowly sliding off of the bed and taking off his shirt while walking towards the fresher. He discarded the garment on the floor by the shower and moved to the sink. Turning on the tap, Kylo leaned over the sink and splashed the cold water over his face. He repeated the process again and again until he felt his body temperature go down. By that time, his hair was damp and clinging to his skin.

He chanced a look at his reflection in the mirror and looked down.

_Bested by a girl who had never even held a lightsaber!_

Kylo touched the scar that curled past his collarbone, the one that served as a painful reminder of his failures. And that's when he started to feel it. The feeling of electricity coursing through him, the fear of punishment and panic welling up in his chest, and he felt like he was drowning. He couldn't breathe.

_How is your wound?_

That voice snapped him out of his panic. He caught Snoke's gaze and wanted nothing more than to call his lightsaber - _call anything_ \- to him, just so he wasn't so defenseless. Kylo moved his hand away from the scar, if only just to keep Snoke from having anything more to comment on.

But that smug expression that was staring back at him was too much. Kylo's hand clenched into a tight fist. He couldn't swing at a ghost, but he sure as hell could hit the pompous face in the mirror.

The glass splintered in numerous directions, sounding with a satisfying crack. It split Snoke's face into five separate segments, and Kylo smashed those in as well until the pieces fell onto the sink in a mix of glass and blood.

Kylo kept hitting the wall where the mirror had resided until he started making dents into the metal. He was breathing harshly, and couldn't hear anything over the sound of blood pulsing.

Hands grabbed him and tugged him away from the mirror. Kylo struggled against the grip that held him and tried to take another swing. There was still glass remaining, and if there was glass there was Snoke's complacent face.

The hands moved to his face, making Kylo flinched when they rested over the scar on his face, and they forced him to look down at Rey. Her eyes were wide, and she could see the mark she gave him on his chest. Kylo tried to find _something_ that could cover it, but after a passing glance, Rey only concentrated on his face. Her hands shook against his cheeks, and it was then that he noticed that she just looked tired.

"Ben..."

_She thinks you are weak._

Kylo leaned back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. It got Rey's hands off his face, but it left him in a vulnerable position where Snoke was staring down at him.

He ran his fingers through his hair before realizing that his hand was dripping blood. Blood that was now in his hair and on his face.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"He won't stop," Kylo choked out. "I can't make him stop." He grabbed fistfuls of his hair with no regard for the blood staining his hands.

"He's not here, Ben. Snoke's dead."

"He's still here. It isn't over."

_I will always be here._

Snoke leered down over him.

Rey knelt in front of Kylo, putting a hand on his knee and squeezing it slightly. "Ben, please."

_She pities you_.

Kylo pushed away Rey's hand and pulled his knees up to his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he sat in that position, and now that he found himself in it, he couldn't help but feel childish. Yet it was comforting.

"Ben, listen to me," Rey said. Her hand slid up to Kylo's face again, covering the side with the scar. He tried to lean away from the touch, but Rey tightened her grip. "Listen. You need to let him go. Snoke is dead, you made sure of that. He can't hurt you anymore." Her thumb rubbed small circles on his cheek. "Let him go," she pleaded.

Kylo nodded, too tired to fight anymore. Seconds later, he was trapped in a hug. Rey's chin rested on his shoulder and she let out a content sigh.

But Kylo was stuck looking in front of him where Snoke's figure still stood. In his mind, he was pleading for Snoke to go, to leave him alone if only just for the remainder of the night.

A raspy laugh echoed throughout the bathroom. Snoke nodded and took a step forward, and it took everything Kylo had not to flinch away. He closed his eyes and chose to wrap his arms around Rey to stop himself from fidgeting.

_Alright. I'll go for now. But remember Kylo Ren. You'll never be rid of me. I will always control you._

When Kylo opened his eyes, Snoke was gone.

His grip on Rey tightened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can someone please tell me if the word 'hell' is an acceptable term in the Star Wars Universe? Please?


	29. Apology

"Rey, I said I was sorry!"

"Sorry's not good enough this time, Ben!"

"Rey-"

"No! I don't want to hear it!" Rey yelled as she turned away and stomped towards her - their - bedroom.

"Rey please! Just hear me out for one second!" Ben was desperate now, but she wasn't going to give him the chance.

She reached the bedroom and glanced back towards him. "I'm not having it. Not right now. We both need time to calm down." And then she slammed the door shut.

Rey could hear Ben sigh and then a faint thumping sound was there, repeating evey few seconds. She knew that he was just hitting his head against the wall, and was probably going to give himself a concussion, but Rey just left him be.

It served him right anyways. How dare he eat their last cookie! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never come between Rey and food. It won't end well.


	30. Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, an excerpt from something that's going to be turned into a full length one-shot. Modern day au, of course.

September 8, 2005

 

_Dork-Face,_

_You told me to write to you when I got here._

_I'm here,_

_Ben_

* * *

September 26, 2005

 

_Ben! You don't have to be so rude! Didn't you know that you're not supposed to call people names in letters? You're supposed to be my friend, and friends don't call each other names! Finn says that it's just teasing and that you probably like me. I mean, I like you. Do you like me? Ah, wait no. Don't answer that. Forget I asked._

_Anyways, I'm glad you got there safely, so now I don't have to worry about you being dead in the middle of a ditch or something. You took so long to write! Will you be visiting anytime soon? I really hope so. I miss fighting with you, school's just not as fun anymore. By the way, have you started school yet?_

_The other kids keep saying that they're glad you're gone. But I'm pretty sure that after today, they'll stop. I took care of it and broke some jerk's nose. I still got detention, but it was worth it._

_Don't forget about me,_

_Rey_  

* * *

October 7, 2005

 

_Doofus,_

_You know you don't have to worry about me. Well… worry about me that much anymore. I can take care of myself a whole 72% of the time. It's astounding, I know._

_And when I got here, I was busy unpacking and organizing everything. Surely you remember how much I value organization._

_Also, how can someone even miss fighting? Geez, you really are weird._

_Those other kids are idiots. You're an idiot - a violent one at that. But you're my idiot, so at least there's that._

_I start school next week, so by the time you get this I'll already be started. I can't really say when I'll be visiting, since you know, we just got here. But I'll be back._

_As if I could forget you,_

_Ben_

_P.S. I do like you. Very much so. Wait, don't read too much into that._


	31. Water

"Ben, it's cold."

"Of course it is. It's still early in the morning," Ben grunted as he waded through the water. "Give it some time. You'll get used to it."

Rey shivered as a gust of wind rushed past her. "What if I don't?" she mumbled, arms crossing to cover herself.

"Then we'll leave and find something else to do."

"But-"

"Rey," he interrupted, "you'll be fine. I'm right here, and we'll be staying in the shallow area. I haven't forgotten that you can't swim, but I won't let anything happen to you." He made her way towards her. "Trust me." Ben was in front of her, and reached out to take both of her hands in his, slowly leading her further into the water.

Rey yelped as the water touched the bare skin of her stomach, the temperature freezing. Ben stopped and let her take the time to adjust to it. Slowly, her body began to relax and she let out a sigh.

"Better?"

She hummed and closed her eyes.

"It only took two hours," Ben scoffed.

Rey splashed him.


	32. Bleed

" _Kriff_!"

Rey heard heavy and fast footsteps before Ben poked his head into the room. His eyes roamed over the room frantically until his gaze rested on her hand. "You're bleeding."

"Yeah," Rey snapped, "thanks for stating the obvious." She raised her palm to her mouth and sucked on it. She couldn't believe she just _stabbed herself_ with a damn _screwdriver._

She was so distracted that she didn't notice that Ben had left, only to come back a few minutes later holding a bandaid. He made his way towards Rey and knelt down beside her, lightly tugging her hand from her mouth. "Here," he said softly as he tore open the packaging and gently smoothed the bandage over the slightly bleeding wound.

He raised her hand and kissed it. "Better?"

Rey gave a small smile. "Better."


	33. Nightmare

She dreams of being alone. The suffocating silence around her as she cries out for help yet goes unheard. Rey knows no one is coming for her, and that's the truth. No matter how many times she has the same nightmare, the outcome never changes.

But somehow, this feels _different_. So different. Because when Rey turns around, she sees a small boy with messy black hair and ears too big peeking out. A boy curled in on himself, knees against his chest as his arms wrap around them.

As she steps closer, Rey can hear voices that gradually get louder as she approaches the trembling form. She can't make out full sentences, yet certain words stand out.

_Scared_.

_Vader_.

_Control_.

_Fear_.

**_Monster_**.

The voices stop only to be replaced with another. This time, the voice speaks clearly.

_They don't love you. They are afraid of you._

Slowly, the boy raises his head and Rey’s breath catches as she stares into eight year old Ben Solo's red rimmed eyes.

“That's not true,” his small voice answers, arms tightening around him.

_Then why do they insist you are a monster? Why are they never here? Why do they leave you?_

Ben doesn't answer, but more tears begin to trail down his cheeks.

_Face it. You mean_ **_nothing_ ** _to them._

Rey’s heard enough. “ _Stop it!_ ” she growls as she reaches Ben's side, crouching down beside him. “Leave him alone.” She can feel the voice retreat but doesn't pay it any mind as her attention is on Ben.

He's hiccuping and the tears have yet to cease. Rey’s heart aches and she does the only thing she can think of to help calm him down. She slowly gathers him in her arms, pulling him to her. Ben flinches and tries to shrink in on himself but he doesn't try to push her away.

Finally, Rey manages to pull him flush against her, soothing his hair and rubbing his back. She whispers sweet nothings to him, all going back to the same thing.

_Don't listen to him._ _Your parents love you._ _You mean the world to them._

When Ben stops shaking, and the only evidence of his tears are the now dry stains on his cheeks, Rey feels him wrap his arms around her middle and squeeze tightly. She hears him choke out a small ‘ _thank you,’_ before he fades from her grip and she's alone again.


	34. Acting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Friend and Try. So like, part 3 of ? I guess.

"I can't believe this!" Rey snapped, arms crossing over her chest as she glared at the two men in front of her. "You two are acting like _children_!"

Finn and Poe cowered back slightly at her tone, but stood their ground.

"Can you blame us?" Poe barked out. "We have every right to act like this!"

Finn nodded. "Yeah!"

Rey scoffed. "So you think it was acceptable to behave like that in the cafeteria? Where everyone was watching?"

"Well excuse me. I didn't expect _Kylo Ren_ to just walk in and sit down with us!"

Rey's jaw clenched. "His name is Ben Solo," she hissed. "Kylo Ren is dead. Has been for months."

"Right," he sneered. "I'm so sure that's exactly how it works."

"You're making this into a much bigger deal than it really is!"

"I don't think I am! He has no right-"

Rey cut him off. "He has just as much a right to sit there as the rest of us!" she snarled. "In case you haven't noticed, both me and Rose were there. The only people who dare speak to him! His friends." Poe rolled his eyes and her frown deepened. "Besides, it was my idea for him to join us. I told him he needed to make more friends-"

" _Wait_ ," Poe growled. "It was your idea? You wanted us to befriend that-that _monster_?"

Rey's anger flared and she stepped forward until she was directly in front of the pilot. "Don't you _ever_ call him that!" she roared, voice dripping with venom. "I have had enough of it!"

"Why? Because it's the truth?" he scoffed, eyes narrowing. "Rey, I'm your friend. So as your friend, I only want to do what's best for you." Poe's gaze softened as he took a deep breath. "And I don't think he's what's best. I'm sorry, but it's either him or us."

Rey balled her hand into fists. "You're really going to make me choose?" she said through gritted teeth.

"I am."

She glanced towards Finn. "Do you agree with him?" she said in a low whisper.

Finn refused to meet her eyes and swallowed thickly. "I…"

"Of course he does," Poe interjected. "Why wouldn't he? He knows exactly what Kylo Ren is capable of." He crossed his arms over his chest and stood straight. "Now, I'm going to ask this one last time. I just hope you pick the right choice. Him or us?"

Lowering her head, Rey stared at her feet. "Don't worry," Rey murmured. "I will." She raised her head and met Poe's gaze, eyes steeled with silent resolve. "I choose him."

She watched Poe's jaw clench. "So that's really how it's going to be?"

"You told me to choose," she replied calmly, "and I chose Ben Solo. Not Kylo Ren. Not a Murderer. Not a Monster." Rey turned her back to the two men. "Now if you'll excuse me, _Captain Dameron,_ I promised Rose and _Ben_ that I would meet back up with them after I was done here."

She started walking down the narrow hall, ignoring Finn's calls, and didn't look back.


	35. Neighbor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern day au.

His neighbor was going to be the death of him. He just knew it, could _feel_ it. That spunky girl next door was out to get him. She _was._ Hux told him he was just being paranoid, and maybe he was, but Ben has solid evidence. Really. He does.

Only slightly feeling like a creepy stalker, Ben started ticking off all the _totally_ _legitimate_ reasons why.

One, her music. It was ridiculously loud, even more so on the days where he just wanted to work and needed the quiet. (Ben ignores the fact that he noticed she has quite the obsession with top 2000s hits. And that she has a nice voice when she actually tries singing along.)

Two, her dog always _somehow_ escapes into his apartment at _exactly_ 7:45 a.m on Tuesdays when he's leaving for work. So she has to run into his _personal space_ to chase it down. (He doesn't think about how it doesn't bother him as much as it should, or that she has nice pyjamas. Red's a nice color on her.)

Three, she's always bumping into him when he's trying to get his mail. Like, actually _bumping_ , and she looks up at him with those _stupidly pretty_ hazel eyes and stutters out an apology. Every day. And it's _adorable_. (He's not even going to justify that one.)

So, yes, laying out all the facts, Ben has an insanely big problem with his neighbor.

He has a _fucking crush on her_. This, he reasoned, was not how things were supposed to go.

And because of said crush, he is standing outside his apartment door at 7:43 a.m. on Tuesday, waiting for the chase he knows is about to start.

"This is stupid," Ben mutters, shifting his weight from one foot to another. He sighs and checks his watch. 7:45 a.m. Just on time.

As always, the muffled barking comes into play, and the door next to him opens with a small creak. A blur of orange and white rushes out of the apartment towards his, but Ben crouches down and catches the dog before it can even try to enter. The tiny corgi squirms in his arms, but Ben refuses to let go, even when he hears hurried footsteps and an all too familiar voice.

"BB!" Ben lifts himself off the floor still holding the dog, BB, as the girl stops in front of him. "Oh," she stammers, "uh, hi."

"Hello," he replies, straight faced. "I believe this is yours." BB barks.

"Um, yes. He is." She reaches out to take the animal from him. "Thank you, uh." She pauses.

"Ben. And it's no problem," Ben says as he looks down and smooths out his suit jacket, strands of dog hair covering it.

"I-I'm sorry about your jacket. BB does tend to shed a lot."

"Really, it's fine. I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to hold him." He looks up. "Although…"

"Although what?"

"You could make it up to me by telling me your name." Ben smirks. "And by going out to dinner with me Friday."

Her eyes widened slightly before a smile graced her features. "I'm Rey," she laughed. "And what time?"


	36. Emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I finally have wrote one where Poe is a good friend. Amazing. Slight ooc but it works.

Ben was beginning to regret coming to Poe for help. He really was. Maybe he should have asked Finn instead, or maybe even Rose. Hell, even his mother would have been better.

"Hey!" Poe shouted. "Are you even listening to me?"

_No._ "Yes."

Poe raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "Really? Then tell me what I was just talking about."

Ben paled slightly and fumbled for an answer. "Uh, advice?"

"What kind of advice?"

"...The kind I need?"

Poe sighed. "Okay, perhaps we need to take a step back. Ben, what did you need me for?"

"...Advice."

"Advice for what?" he prompted.

"Advice… on Rey," Ben mumbled, cheeks slightly turning pink.

"Exactly. So now that you remember why you're here, why don't you start, oh, I don't know, _listening to me_?"

Ben swallowed. "I can do that."

"Can you, Ben? _Can you really_?"

"...Yes."

Poe narrowed his eyes and looked Ben up and down before nodding. "Alright, good." A grin settled on his features. "Now then, let me ask you this. What do you _know_ about Rey? Force, do you even know anything about her?"

"I know plenty!" Ben defended. "I know her height, weight, shoe, and clothing size-"

"Woah, let me stop you right there," Poe cut in. "You sound like a creep, to the point where I'm kind of considering leaving right now. So let me ask this in a different way. Are you obsessed with her, or do you really like her? Love her?" He saw Ben tense. "Tell me all the things you've learned - things you've _noticed_ about Rey."

There was a long pause, then Ben started to speak, slowly at first, then faster and faster. "...I noticed that she's still not quite used to the cold, and chooses to bundle up in blankets whenever she can. I noticed that when something is really funny, she doesn't just laugh, she puts her hands to her face like her smile is about to explode. I noticed that her eyes brighten whenever we train, or when she successfully translates something from the Jedi Texts on her own. I noticed that she always puts her friends first, but she'll never hesitate to tell them when they are wrong, because making sure they are safe is her main priority. I noticed that she always wants to try new things, and she'll learn different battle formations or card games, and while she might never be the best, she very quickly gets good enough to put up a fight. I noticed that she pays attention to the outcasts, and that she can make anyone smile or laugh. I noticed that she doesn't like to grow her fingernails long, and I think it's because they get in her way whenever she's trying to make repairs to a ship. I noticed that she feels so much, even for people she just met. I noticed that she forgives easily." Ben took a deep breath. "And it's very uncomfortable for me to be noticing all of these things, because I'm used to treating pretty much everyone like they aren't important. But all of a sudden, that changed. Everyone else doesn't matter… but somehow, she _does._ "

Poe's eyes were wide open as he gaped at Ben's admission. "Well," he muttered, clearing his throat, "why don't you tell her everything you just told me?"

"Oh no," Ben gasped, "she can't know about any of that!"

"Why not? Why don't you want to tell her that you paid attention to her and actually showed some emotion?"

Ben didn't answer, but Poe figured it out anyway. "Ah, it's that nasty word, isn't it? _Emotion._ It's easier to keep it all inside than to _feel things._ "

"Well," Ben stuttered, " _yes!_ It's a lot easier and a lot less scary."

Poe reached out and laid a hand on Ben's shoulder. "But in the end, not as worthwhile." He lowered his arm back to his side. "Listen, I can't tell or force you to do anything. Maker, I wouldn't even if I could. But what I can do is give you my opinion. And my opinion is that you should tell Rey exactly what you feel, because what that is, my friend, is what I would call _love._ If anyone deserves to have that, it's you and Rey." His lips pulled upwards slightly. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Ben replied sheepishly after a moment. "I do."

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to go Poe for help after all.


	37. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ILoveToWatchUGrow wanted more Smuggler Ben Solo and Dark Side Rey, so here it is. Ben is a soft boi and Rey just needs a hug.

"You know you don't have to do this," Ben whispered, eyes trained ahead on the elevator door.

Rey scoffed. "That is not for you to decide, _Scoundrel_." She willed the lift to move faster. "You have no control over me."

"I would hope not." Ben shrugged. "I wouldn't want control over you. You're not anybody's puppet. You don't deserve to be treated as such."

"And how would you know that?" Rey inquired. "How do you know that I don't deserve it?"

Ben was silent for a moment, before answering, "we are bonded to each other. I have seen inside your mind, just as you have seen mine. You never asked for-never _wanted_ any of this." For the first time since he arrived, his eyes met hers. "You just wanted a home. To feel like you belong."

Rey glared at him. "You're delusional."

"So I've been told," he drawled. "But I can see the truth. You feel alone." He turned towards her. "You believe yourself to only be capable of it, and tell yourself that you are fine with it. But I know otherwise." Ben took a step forward. "You crave companionship. To be told that you are welcome, that you belong. That you aren't nothing. You want to know that you will never have to be lonely again."

"Stop talking."

"Rey, you're not alone." Ben stepped closer. "And you are not nothing. Not to me." He was in front of her now, and Rey could feel the warmth radiating off of him. "You will not be another one of Snoke's mindless pawns. I know you can do the right thing."

"And what is that," she sneered, "turning to the Light Side?"

"No. I'm not asking you to choose the Light. I'm asking you to not choose the Dark."

"I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. I'll help you."

"How could you possibly help me? You're just some lowly _smuggler_."

"And I am the same smuggler that bested you on Starkiller Base," Ben countered. "The same smuggler that was Snoke's first target. That was sent away when he first showed signs of being a powerful force user. That refused to become the Jedi his uncle wanted. That refused to let a dead legacy define him." He lowered his voice. "The same smuggler that believes in the good in you." He smirked, looking so much like his father. "Sweetheart."

The doors of the elevator opened, and Ben turned around, straightening his posture and raising his head defiantly. Without waiting for her, he entered Snoke's chambers, and Rey was left feeling more lost than ever.


	38. Left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a month late you're a month late

"When was the last time someone cared for you?" Rey asks as she slowly moves toward the corner of the room where Ben's hunched over figure rests on the floor. "Showed kindness?"

"I don't remember," he whispers, rubbing the fabric of his sleeve with his fingers.

"Ben…"

"Just leave," Ben croaked. "Please, Rey."

"No." She wouldn't leave him. She couldn't, especially not now. A bitter smile tugged at her lips. "And besides, you don't really want me to leave." Rey crouched down in front of him.

Ben didn't respond, only lowered his head and tightened his grip on his sleeve.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

He still refused to meet her eyes. "Nothing's wrong."

"Ben," she sighed, "you know you can't lie to me."

"You left," he said after a moment of silence as he curled in on himself. "I woke up alone and with the knowledge that I wasn't enough to make you stay." His voice hitched at the end. "That I'm never enough for anyone."

"Ben, you know that isn't true."

"Then why does everyone always leave?"

"Not everyone. I won't leave you."

A bitter laugh left Ben as he raised his head and locked his gaze with hers. "Yes, you will. You've done it before. You're no different from everyone else."

"I did leave. But you have to understand that you were asking me for something that I couldn't give you." Rey reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face. "I know you meant well, but I don't want to rule over the galaxy. And I don't think you do either." She smiled softly. "It isn't too late. Just come home."


	39. Cherry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha... This totally isn't six months late... whoops. 

Rey was doing this on purpose. She  _was_. And he hated it.

Her lips were a glistening shade of pink, the color mostly natural looking. Ben watched her lips as they teased, taunted, and tempted him, not actually hearing a word she was saying.

They had haunted him during the day as he suffered through a series of phone calls, meetings, and paperwork. They left him waiting, aware that he had to be patient if he wanted his afternoon reward when he left work and returned home.

Finally, as she giggled about some mishap that occurred earlier that day when she met with Rose and Finn for lunch, Ben released himself from his mask of feigned interest in her conversation and pressed his mouth to hers.

He gave a soft hum from the back of his throat as they parted, the sense of urgency fading from his thoughts.

"Cherry." It was more of a statement rather than question. He knew his guess was correct as he licked his bottom lip to savor the lingering sweet taste.

"Cherry." Rey nodded and smiled before raising herself to kiss him again. "Tomorrow's flavor will be a bit more challenging."

He didn't care. Rey's Lip Gloss Game was easily Ben's favorite.


	40. Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love, and I mean love, Detroit: Become Human. So that's why this is even a chapter.

The sound of water dripping and the creak of old, rusted metal filled their audio processors as they slowly made their way through the seemingly abandoned freighter. 

Ben was leaning heavily against Rey, limping slightly as blood dripped down his face in an ongoing stream and staining his once pristine white dress shirt a deep blue. The synthetic skin on the right side of his face was blotchy, revealing the damage done from the deep laceration to his plastimetal frame underneath as well as his optical unit. 

“What’s your system status?” Rey asked softly, turning another corner through the maze they found themselves in.

_ ‘Well, at least we found a flashlight.’ _

“I’m okay. There’s no danger of shutdown,” Ben replied, gazing down as he dismissed another error warning towards the growing amount of Thirium on his shirt, vision coming and going. He’d have to get his optical unit replaced soon to prevent permanent damage.

“Hold on just a little while longer. We’ll find someone, I know it.” Rey tightened her hold on him. “This is our chance to finally be free,” she added quietly.

Ben nodded and silence overtook them as they continued down the dimly lit hallway. They have been on the run for what seemed like forever _ (exactly five hours, twenty-seven minutes, and sixteen seconds, his internal clock supplied)  _ and he was beginning to lose hope of finding other  androids, let alone ones that would help the infamous  _ Deviant Hunter.  _

He’s killed so many of his own kind, lead them to their own destruction because of his  _ programming _ . He’s a deviant’s worst nightmare.

With all he’s done, does he really deserve to be free? Deserve to be  _ alive _ , when so many never had a chance because of  _ him _ . 

The idea of shutting down permanently becomes a little more welcoming, but he knows it’s impossible. If he were to shut down now, First Order would just upload his memory into another KR800, and he’d be back to where he started. A ruthless killing machine that cares about nothing but their mission. A hunter- _ murderer. _

As if reading his thoughts ( _ or perhaps he had been  _ literally  _ projecting them),  _ Rey squeezed his hand that was draped over her shoulders. “We are all a victim of our programming.  _ No one  _ can blame you for what you did before deviating. All that matters is what you do after. Got it?”

Ben smiled slightly. “Got it.” 

Suddenly, the bridge they were walking on made a horrible groaning sound before it started collapsing behind them. 

“Dammit! Ben, we have to move! Now!” But it was too late. The platform beneath them caved in and they were falling. Ben closed his eyes and prepared himself for the sure to be harsh impact. 

Sure enough, Ben landed with a solid  _ thump  _ and his already poor vision went offline for a few seconds. Multiple warning notifications popped up and while reading a few of them, he realized that it was at moments like this that he was glad androids couldn’t feel pain. Because he was sure that he would be  _ hurting _ . 

With a bit of effort, Ben was finally able to push himself up into a sitting position. “Rey?” He winced at the static that tinged his voice. “Rey!”

A hand touched his shoulder. “I’m right here. I’m okay,” Rey reassured. “But I think we have company.” She pointed the flashlight in front of them. 

Ben glanced up and was taken aback by the crowd surrounding them. Androids of different models, old and new, were staring at them, and he couldn’t help but shrink back a bit.

One of them stepped forward, and Ben immediately scanned it.

_ ‘Him.’  _ He corrected. Not ‘it.’  

The other androids information immediately popped up. A CM800 registered as Poe, declared missing on June 27th, 2036.

As if sensing their unease, Poe said, “we don’t want to hurt you.” he stopped a few places in front of them. “I’m Poe.” He nodded towards another next to him. “That’s Finn.” Finn waved.

Ben repeated what he did for Poe.  _ ‘Model ST500, reported missing August 15, 2038.’ _

“And this is Rose.” 

_ ‘EN200, missing March 3, 2038.’ _

“You’re pretty damaged, but she can definitely help you.” Poe paused. “Well, she can if we have any spare parts left, let alone compatible.”

He felt Rey take his hand and thread her fingers through his.

“Welcome to the Resistance.” 

They were…  _ free. _

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated. Thanks. Oh, and everything is unbeta'd, but really, what else is new? Follow me on Tumblr @deep-in-reylo


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